This
morning, as I was finishing my morning walk, I met an old
acquaintance. I remembered that we had worked for a company together
for couple of years, though we were in different departments. We used
to meet only in canteen for lunch or in the bus while travelling to
the company in the morning or returning in the evening and were not
exactly very pally with each other.
Yet
this morning, I found surprisingly, that we had talked as if we were
great friends and had a fabulous time together. We spoke about our
erstwhile work place and wondered where all the guys have gone now?
Both of us realised that we know whereabouts of only a few
colleagues, whose number we could count with fingers of our hand. I
was also kind of amazed that frankly I was not really interested in
knowing about them or where are they now? After I returned home, I
told my wife about this chance meeting and how we managed to talk
the walk. But when my wife asked me about this ex-colleague of mine, I became aware that in reality that I hardly know anything about this guy , with whom I was talking for last half an hour except his
surname, and even more
surprising was the fact that I had shown no inclination whatsoever even to find
out more about him.
I have
had a similar experience, during a get-together arranged with my old
school friends. It was kind of nice to see the old faces once again
and say hello to them. But to be frank, I had no real interest in
their lives or wanted to get closer to them. They were part of my
past and I was not inclined or willing to open it again.
I have
never been to a submarine at sea, though I have seen and entered a
second world war, German U Boat, that was displayed in a museum. It
was really a longish tubular structure with a central passage and
various rooms built around as one travels from one end to other. What
was significant is that the entire hull was split into sections,
which had watertight doors. Closing of any door would cut that
section completely off from the balance length of submarine. It seems
to me that our life perhaps flows in the same fashion. As we move
from school to college and then to professional world, the watertight
doors close upon us, cutting us completely off from the past, except
for some memories.
For
several years, my father ran a business in partnership with two of
his former colleagues, with whom he had worked in a company for a
very long time. I remember my father and mother being very close with
these other two couples and all three of them used to be part of each
and every function or celebration even in their own family lives. Yet
when the partnership broke over some differences and my father walked
away, some kind of watertight door closed and these other two guys no
longer were part of our family life any longer.
One of
my friends is a divorcee. I used to know his former wife well, as she
used to visit us occasionally. I also know his present wife, though
perhaps not that well. I often wonder, whether he would be
remembering his ex-wife, particularly during sad incidents, which are
connected with his former life with his ex. I do not know what his
real feelings are, but on the face of it, he seems to have completely
forgotten about past with a watertight door already closed on his
past.
I
think that this ability, gifted to us by nature, of closing doors on
past, makes life so interesting to live. If we didn't have this
natural ability, we would have kept remembering the past, which most
of the times may not have been exactly pleasant or might have been
even turbulent. It would have certainly put a heavy weight on our
minds, while living the present.
Let me
elucidate this with an example. Even though, I was a very good
student, my school going years were not exactly very happy. I had
problems with almost everyone. My teachers, school authorities, with
a few of my classmates and even with myself. Today I realise, what
exactly went wrong, but is of no use now. Yet, any increased
fellowship with old friends appears to make my old wounds reopen
again, though my friends had no part in my unpleasant experiences and
I have nothing against them. I always feel that opening up the past,
brings back the old unpleasantness and I would rather let the
watertight door remain closed forever.
Let
the past remain behind the watertight doors. The present is with us.
It is better to enjoy it than let the shadows of the past cloud our
minds unnecessarily.
21st
April 2015
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